Don't tell me otherwise

I'm depressed. A little. Though I work out in aerobics and yoga, I gained like 5 pounds. It might be muscle but possibly not. I feel like I look better than I guess the rest of the world sees me.

My latest pictures are grotesque. I need braces. I don't want glasses. I have terrible skin. I need to lose weight for real. :( AND I HATE WHEN PEOPLE TELL ME OTHERWISE. Cause you're just being nice.

Case in point, I look like an old lady. My face is all scrunched up. My cheeks are large and sometimes, I have strange cheek dimples. I can't do a big smile cause I blink. I'm not going to modest right about now, but I feel as though your outside should reflect who you are inside. I'd prefer it. Stupid cardigans make me look huge. I need a haircut. I need to sleep more.

I realized I get annoyed of people very soon. Also, I think I'll annoy Yancey with this stuff soon too. We discussed recent pictures in which I look better.

Yancey's pick first (because it's supposed to be goofy) and my pick

Maybe I should either just make goofy faces or not smile with my teeth...

I feel fake (and thus, ugly) in some of the "nice" clothes and a half-assed smile.

Why is this important you ask? Because we all judge people by their pictures. I would like to look good for me, to build my self-confidence. Really, it's not about "other" people because who else is there for me to impress? (Don't even go there. Everyone needs to shut up about guys.)

This is breakdown #2 in 2 days. After the 10-year banquet last night where we started crying, I remembered how much I miss my kids. Today, I took a camera over there and snapped photos of my seniors. :)

My faves and me looking hilarious. I have such a big smile here. I don't love it, but I like it because I look so happy. :)